Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Can I complain?

Woke up today exhausted and unmotivated.  I was all ready to head to the gym for the 6am class and then to start my day.  Instead, I shut the alarm off and wrestled with the voices in my head until 6...then I got up.

The sunrise was a vibrant pink and I thought about taking a picture but I was too tired.  I have been to 8 classes of boot camp in the last 9 days and I had convinced myself that I was doing a good thing.  Now I'm not so sure.

The list of aches and pains that have surfaced could fill the whole blog and I am still quite large.  I'm down 10 so there is only another 50 to go!

I admire the folks in this class that show up every day.  They are in phenomenal shape and look pretty good too.  I, on the other hand, am not in phenomenal shape.  For me, when I do this class daily, I am aching the rest of the day, wondering if I am ever going to get in shape and still burbling out of my clothes.  I know, I know, it's only been 10 days.

I have nothing to complain about.  Easter was good.  I had extra college kids here, my own kids and tons of food (which I did NOT eat.)   The weather was good, the boys ended up with a new truck to fix up and drive eventually, and Jim and I worked out our spring kinks that have surfaced every baseball season for the last 15 years.  So, I have nothing to complain about.

But, can I complain for others?  I have been so busy at my job...and it seems like things are not going to let up.  The folks that I am caring for are seemingly close to my age and have cancer.  They have kids and young spouses and unfinished business.  I am complaining loudly about that.

My house is a mess, my flowers (that I bought for myself) are already dying, and I can't seem to get my act together.  Are those things worthy of complaint? 

I guess not, huh?  Well, I gotta shut up, put my gym clothes on and get to the 9:00 class.  After that, I will muster up whatever energy I have left and see my patients, the ones that count on me to help them through this time.   If there is time, I will throw some laundry in, get rid of the dead flowers and cook some dinner.  While I am cooking, my guess is that my boys will show up from baseball practice and I will hear about their day, ask them to wash their hands no less than 4 times before dinner and sit down.  Then, there will be dishes to wash, a plate to fix for Jim who has a baseball game down the hill with his little team, and a discussion about undone homework.  Finally, if there is time, I'll throw a pity party for myself because I didn't have time to get anything done.

Sounds right, huh? 

We'll tawk tommorrow,
I love you all,

1 comment:

Elizabeth said...

With the exception of your job, it sounds awfully familiar. I so admire you for the daily workouts -- keep doing it (or perhaps take a break once or twice a week). There are bound to be results, however hard-won.