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Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Closing time...

I worked today...6 visits for 7 patients.  It was a humbling day.   As I drove, the song..."Closing time" came on by the Semisonics.  The part of the song.."Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end"  struck me and sat with me all day.

I had plans with a patient's wife, a friend that I knew from the days of pre-school for dinner.  I was nervous and worried about how she was doing since the love of her life has been gone for 2 months. 

I had the honor of caring for them in his last days and knew she was tender and was missing him terribly.

We met at a local restaurant, hugged and sat down.  I asked her how she was and she began to tell me of her life now.  She regaled me with the tales of broken down cars, bills to pay and things that her love did that she has taken over.  She told me of the big house and the deck sitting alone wishing he was there.  She told me of the wins....getting the car fixed, paying the bills and being strong to honor him.  Then she told me of how she remembered his last day...did she do enough...did she tell him how much she loved him before he left?

I took a sip of my pink wine and asked her if I could tell her what I remember.  She reluctantly listened but I could tell the words were causing her pain...

I told her of walking into her home and watching her hold his hand  and gently stroke his fingers as we talked about his illness.  I told her of the tear that rolled down her cheek as he told me that he was done fighting and was ready to be comfortable at home and not pursue more treatment.  I told her how I envied her strength because it was obvious to me that she wanted him here longer.  I told her when he turned to her after he made the statement,  she smiled at him as if she was  "all in". 

By that time, we both were tender and tearful.  I continued to remind her of how she fought for him...for treatment, for cure and when that was not a reality...for dignity, comfort and a quiet, peaceful death in his own home, his own bed and with his wife beside him.  I told her that she did everything right and that we can only wish that would happen to us when it is our time.

I told her how it wasn't fair but it just was...and how I was so impressed with how she loved her husband...and what her kids saw as she loved and cared for him until he was no longer here.  We toasted him, his life and how she loved him...

I fought with her over the check...and won.  "You owe me" I said and left it at that.  Paying for dinner is a small price for having the honor to care for a man with such a kind heart and lovely family...

I drove home and my cell phone buzzed..."you are such a good soul" was the message from my friend.  I sent back a text telling her how much I enjoyed the night and the company. 

A good soul...I sure hope so...

Closing time, the song...the words resonate with me..."every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end".

The end of a life and the sadness that brings...but the beginning of a friendship.  I am so blessed.

This came at a vulnerable time for me...things are changing in my life,  as my children leave and become independent, my youngest son makes some choices that may change how I get to serve.  A new beginning that must come from some other beginnings end...

Sometimes it's closing time whether we want it to be or not...
I hope I have the courage...
Enjoy the song.

We'll tawk tomorrow,
I love you all,
Terry

 

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