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Sunday, January 26, 2014

The definition of exceptional...

You gotta read this.  It is an amazing article about differences in opinion and how we can all think differently and thank God we do!

http://thoughtcatalog.com/amy-glass/2014/01/i-look-down-on-young-women-with-husbands-and-kids-and-im-not-sorry/

Whoa Nelly...this is some kind of writing, huh?

As you all know, I am a mother of 3.  They are almost grown and I can say, that besides being a hospice nurse, raising them is my most prized accomplishment.  To be able to experience the love and exhaustion of shepherding another human being, let alone 3, as they learn, grow, make mistakes while becoming who they are meant to be...that is what I was put on this earth to do.

But being a mother...caring for little human beings is not what every female is meant to do and that's just fine.  

The writer of this article states:
"Do people really think that a stay at home mom is really on equal footing with a woman who works and takes care of herself? There’s no way those two things are the same. It’s hard for me to believe it’s not just verbally placating these people so they don’t get in trouble with the mommy bloggers.
Having kids and getting married are considered life milestones. We have baby showers and wedding parties as if it’s a huge accomplishment and cause for celebration to be able to get knocked up or find someone to walk down the aisle with. These aren’t accomplishments, they are actually super easy tasks, literally anyone can do them. They are the most common thing, ever, in the history of the world. They are, by definition, average. And here’s the thing, why on earth are we settling for average?"
I guess I respectfully beg to differ on what she calls "super easy tasks".  Finding and staying together with my husband for 25 years has been anything but easy.  Negotiating raising three kids and finding common moral ground in this crazy world isn't "super easy" either.  It has been amazing, trying, scary and boring but I would never say, that it has been "super easy".

The author goes on:
If women can do anything, why are we still content with applauding them for doing nothing?
I want to have a shower for a woman when she backpacks on her own through Asia, gets a promotion, or lands a dream job not when she stays inside the box and does the house and kids thing which is the path of least resistance. The dominate cultural voice will tell you these are things you can do with a husband and kids, but as I’ve written before, that’s a lie. It’s just not reality."
The funny thing about this opinion is, she is right on.  If you were one of my buddies, I would applaud you if you backpacked through Asia, got a raise, promotion or made it through the day without screaming at one of your teenagers.  I would applaud you for doing what you do, whatever it is.  I guess it's because I am a celebrator and think we should celebrate all of our accomplishments as humans, whatever they are! 
You see, we all have our strengths and we all have our weaknesses and to call another woman average because she chooses to take a different path than you choose to take is unfortunate.  As far as taking the "path of least resistance", only we know what that is and  is our own call to take and how we choose to live our lives.  We are all "wonderfully made" with gifts for all different things!
The article goes on:
"You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids.
I learned from a wise 2nd grade teacher this quote..."you can do everything you want to but you just can't do it at the same time."  For me that rang true.  I was not able to raise three kids, run a house...even an average one...and work full time.  I did a lousy job at all three.  So I chose to pick the one that made my heart sing, hoping when that time was through I could find something else.  And I did.  I would say, without being humble at all, I mothered the best I could at the time and felt exceptional and now that I am a hospice nurse, I do that and feel exceptional.  But, I still have a husband and kids.  If exceptional means rich with money...forget it.  I guess I am not.  But if exceptional means that I have gone above and beyond to raise kids and to care for my dying patients...yes, I am exceptional.
Finally, the writer says:
"I hear women talk about how “hard” it is to raise kids and manage a household all the time. I never hear men talk about this. It’s because women secretly like to talk about how hard managing a household is so they don’t have to explain their lack of real accomplishments. Men don’t care to “manage a household.” They aren’t conditioned to think stupid things like that are “important.”
"Women will be equal with men when we stop demanding that it be considered equally important to do housework and real work. They are not equal. Doing laundry will never be as important as being a doctor or an engineer or building a business. This word play is holding us back."
Is it the word play holding us back or just the back biting?  I mean, who cares if I stay home and you build a multimillion dollar company if we get our souls fed and make the world a better place?  I think we all need to figure out what matters...to us and to the world.  That is what will differentiate men and woman between average and exceptional.  Whatever you choose, do it well and go above and beyond...be it a stay at home mom/dad, a president of a company or both and let's honor each other always choosing to hold each other up and not push each other down.  Don't you think life is hard enough?

That's just my  two cents...
We'll tawk tomorrow,
I love you all,
Terry




1 comment:

Ms. Moon said...

I think Amy Glass's words were ridiculous and that your thoughts on them were perfect.
I can't even imagine where in the world she was coming from.