Saturday, August 22, 2015

I am an "empty nester"

Wednesday around noon, I became an empty nester.  I took my last child to college.  It is a little more than an hour away and it is a really  nice college.  He will do great there and he started his exit right after graduation in May...really.

All summer, I held on tight and tried to hold him close.  He wanted none of it.  He got a job, he camped, he hiked and he got a life.  He was on his way.

I have no choice now but to figure out what's next.  In my head, Jim and I got married and we began prepping to have a family.  We bought and built a house, got decent jobs and learned how to negotiate differences all in preparation for being parents.  At least, that is how I saw it.  Three years later, along came the the queen, her brother next and then ...the last one.  

We dove in head first and parented.  We sang the songs, we got the mini-van, and we became Mom and Dad.  We even referred to each other as that and still do.  

Now, they are all on their way.  My first is  negotiating adulthood with all of her might, the second one is exploring life with abandon and now my last...in his dorm doing God knows what.  

So back to me...I didn't work on Wednesday, but all of my patients knew that I was taking my last kid to college.  On Thursday, as I showed up to see folks, I was quizzed and comforted.  My patients, who are dealing with illness and end of life stuff took the time to comfort me.  Needless to say, I was humbled.  

Then, at the end of the day, I went to a party for my boss and her husband to be.  The whole office was there and we were celebrating this new union.  Everyone I talked to asked how I was, and if I was doing okay taking my boy.  I finally realized while I talk way too much, I have so much to be thankful for.  These folks don't have to listen and really, they don't have to care.  But they do.  Wow, things like that make my  life so rich... 

It is going to be an adjustment to have more time to do things I want to do.  I mean, I don't even know what I want to do...really.  But, I guess I have time to figure that out.  

So, as I wrap this up, I want to thank all of the folks that asked and listened and comforted me as I negotiate round 3.  This round has the potential to be even better, as rewarding and as holy as the first two round have been. 

Once again, it's about perspective and managing expectations...something I tell my patients all the time.  I guess it's time to take a dose of my own medicine.  

Here's to being an empty nester!  I guess....

We'll tawk tomorrow,
I love you all,


Ms. Moon said...

It'll be a process, learning to live more for yourself.
But trust me- it can be so fabulous AND they will always need you. Always.

Elizabeth said...

Oh, I know this must be hard. I sort of dread it myself, as my second child has only two years left of high school. As you know, I have a twenty year old at home, though, severely disabled, so I guess I'll never have an empty nest. There's something weird about all transition --

From what I understand, though, your nest isn't empty for long -- these kids grow and come back and then have kids and they come back. I hope you get some down time and relaxation before it all starts up again!

jeannine nye said...

I did find it hard when my last ones fled the nest too.. I had mine in two batches, three before I was 25 then another two when I was 32 and 34- so it was made a little easier when the older ones went as I still had the younger ones to deal with.. However when my number four left I was feeling pretty low, and my youngest told me I had empty nest syndrome*** The idea that he had looked it up and was sure that was what I was feeling flat about, made me laugh and laugh and of course he was right.. Its the strangest thing, not having them all around, but eventually they come back time and again, and you settle into another routine, where their visits are highly sought and such fun when they are there.. do not be too downcast,you have a very challenging job and its just another door opening for other things to do, rather than still being mum** YOur job too is hard, but I am sure fulfilling, but you need some ME time now to relax and find yourself again.. good luck, and hugs from across the pond.. Janzi