It's been awhile...
I haven't written since last May...and have been struggling to put my thoughts down since then.
Almost a year ago, I had a life changing, get your act together, learn to live well, love those close to you experience. I now needed help from others and wasn't the one barking orders, making faces and getting things done. I needed someone else to do that and to let me figure out what a new normal looked like. It was time to take care of myself, learn that I too, could use some help and needed to be present in every day!
Well, it's almost a year later and I would love to tell you what I have learned.
*Everyone has the same amount of time in a day. We have 24 hours of time in each day for our personal use. We can look around and see that we are running out of time, or we can look around and see that this is the only time we have and use it wisely.
*Everyone has "worries " and it is not helpful to compare whose "worries" are worse. Sure, we are human and do that but to focus on that is, in my opinion, a waste of time. Look at your life, change the things that you can, find a way to live with the things that continue to play a tape in your brain.
*The sun comes up every day. When I was trying to figure out my "new normal" I worried and worried that tomorrow wouldn't come or that it would be just as difficult as the day before. Guess what? Time is a healer...does it make the experience that you had go away? Of course not, but it helps you put it in a place to deal with it...to sometimes forget it and even soften the pain.
*Having an earth shaking experience is difficult but...it makes you appreciate who you have to surround you. I have come to realize that I am the luckiest girl in the world. Are things perfect in my life? You probably wouldn't think so but I think they are. I am blessed with a husband of almost 29 years that is my best friend. Could he have married better? Sure because he has an amazing heart and doesn't look too bad either. But he stays, he listens, he laughs even though he knows who I am...
*Remember your young adults will make their own life. My children have made decisions that are different than the ones that I had dreamed about when they were suckling at my breast. Guess what? I am so proud of the people they are becoming and felt so supported when they were around. They are strong, independent and dedicated to service...which is really my dream for them!
*Good friends are hard to come by. When I was in the fire of worry, I had amazing friends who supported me. They called or didn't if I asked them not to, cried when I was worried, showed up at Thanksgivng dinner and pretended that I was just fine, and loved me no matter what. I am sure that this time last year wasn't easy to watch me struggle. I think we have learned that as we age it is not going to be easy to watch our friends have things that make them fragile...But with my friends, you wouldn't have known it!
*Being in service to others is the best medicine. I was promoted to the "Nurse Manager" at Mt. Evans. I get to support my nurses and make sure they know how special they are. I watch them care for people who are dying with grace and love that only someone who knows how holy of a time that time is for a family. I get to help them and make visits when they go on vacation but I am in service to them now and feel so lucky that I get to do that.
*Dying is not the worst thing in the world in my opinion. I have seen people dying that were surrounded by love and laughter and family that were so thankful for the time they had. It was beautiful and peaceful. The folks left behind were so proud of how they cared for their loved one and became the family that the patient wanted them to be after they were gone.
*Life is never easy. Life is life. It is really pretty messy if you think of it. At least, my life is. I have had the honor to care for families in my nursing career that have had hardships that I cannot fathom and not only survived but were so proud of the way they came together are cared for each other. No one has it easy...we are human and we are messy.
Being a human is difficult. Raising kids is hard too...but all of it is amazing and wonderful along with difficult. Just take my advice and don't worry. Life is short and it is imperative that you live a life that you want to live. I have had the honor to care for folks whose lives were cut short by disease and tried to make the last days as and peaceful and comfortable as I could. Life is about loving the time you have with the people you love. For me, it is about sitting at the kitchen table and telling the stories, hearing how my children had fallen in love, and how they have navigated a difficult time in their lives...
Remember, the sun comes up tomorrow,
and I love you all.
We'll tawk tomorrow,
Love,
Terry
Almost a year ago, I had a life changing, get your act together, learn to live well, love those close to you experience. I now needed help from others and wasn't the one barking orders, making faces and getting things done. I needed someone else to do that and to let me figure out what a new normal looked like. It was time to take care of myself, learn that I too, could use some help and needed to be present in every day!
Well, it's almost a year later and I would love to tell you what I have learned.
*Everyone has the same amount of time in a day. We have 24 hours of time in each day for our personal use. We can look around and see that we are running out of time, or we can look around and see that this is the only time we have and use it wisely.
*Everyone has "worries " and it is not helpful to compare whose "worries" are worse. Sure, we are human and do that but to focus on that is, in my opinion, a waste of time. Look at your life, change the things that you can, find a way to live with the things that continue to play a tape in your brain.
*The sun comes up every day. When I was trying to figure out my "new normal" I worried and worried that tomorrow wouldn't come or that it would be just as difficult as the day before. Guess what? Time is a healer...does it make the experience that you had go away? Of course not, but it helps you put it in a place to deal with it...to sometimes forget it and even soften the pain.
*Having an earth shaking experience is difficult but...it makes you appreciate who you have to surround you. I have come to realize that I am the luckiest girl in the world. Are things perfect in my life? You probably wouldn't think so but I think they are. I am blessed with a husband of almost 29 years that is my best friend. Could he have married better? Sure because he has an amazing heart and doesn't look too bad either. But he stays, he listens, he laughs even though he knows who I am...
*Remember your young adults will make their own life. My children have made decisions that are different than the ones that I had dreamed about when they were suckling at my breast. Guess what? I am so proud of the people they are becoming and felt so supported when they were around. They are strong, independent and dedicated to service...which is really my dream for them!
*Good friends are hard to come by. When I was in the fire of worry, I had amazing friends who supported me. They called or didn't if I asked them not to, cried when I was worried, showed up at Thanksgivng dinner and pretended that I was just fine, and loved me no matter what. I am sure that this time last year wasn't easy to watch me struggle. I think we have learned that as we age it is not going to be easy to watch our friends have things that make them fragile...But with my friends, you wouldn't have known it!
*Being in service to others is the best medicine. I was promoted to the "Nurse Manager" at Mt. Evans. I get to support my nurses and make sure they know how special they are. I watch them care for people who are dying with grace and love that only someone who knows how holy of a time that time is for a family. I get to help them and make visits when they go on vacation but I am in service to them now and feel so lucky that I get to do that.
*Dying is not the worst thing in the world in my opinion. I have seen people dying that were surrounded by love and laughter and family that were so thankful for the time they had. It was beautiful and peaceful. The folks left behind were so proud of how they cared for their loved one and became the family that the patient wanted them to be after they were gone.
*Life is never easy. Life is life. It is really pretty messy if you think of it. At least, my life is. I have had the honor to care for families in my nursing career that have had hardships that I cannot fathom and not only survived but were so proud of the way they came together are cared for each other. No one has it easy...we are human and we are messy.
Being a human is difficult. Raising kids is hard too...but all of it is amazing and wonderful along with difficult. Just take my advice and don't worry. Life is short and it is imperative that you live a life that you want to live. I have had the honor to care for folks whose lives were cut short by disease and tried to make the last days as and peaceful and comfortable as I could. Life is about loving the time you have with the people you love. For me, it is about sitting at the kitchen table and telling the stories, hearing how my children had fallen in love, and how they have navigated a difficult time in their lives...
Remember, the sun comes up tomorrow,
and I love you all.
We'll tawk tomorrow,
Love,
Terry
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