Thursday, October 20, 2011

This is what State looks like...

Tomorrow is State competition for marching band.  The boys will get on a big coach bus and go to CSU to march on the big field.  They will compete against other bands that have spent countless hours practicing their show.  Our band will have to show the judges that they have more heart and energy than the other bands to advance.

 This morning, while I was making my "to-do" list because I am not working today...(ha, ha), I began to think about my middle kid and how this is his last state show.  I asked him if he was ready to be done with band and he said, "no"... and then looked over at me and said, "I know mom".  I started to tear up.  My younger son tried to make me feel better and I told him that I wasn't sad...just tender.  And I am just tender.

My daughter, the Queen, was such a perfect child that when she was 15 months, I convinced my husband that we were such great parents that we should have another.  Eleven months later...here comes Mac.  He was born on a Friday the 13th and has been who he is since that very moment.  He woke up crying for 11 months straight...

Mac and his sister after his PR in cross country

When he started school, the very first parent-teacher conference, I heard that he couldn't sit still, talked too much and didn't know when to stop.  Over the years, I would hear variations on the theme but it was always the same...I even heard that story this week at the high school.

Now he is a senior and he gets up in the morning, gets going and lives his life.  He is fiercely loyal...and if you like him...you usually love him.  God forbid you don't like him though...it's tough to be him.

So, this guy, my son, a third of my heart and soul...is marching his last state high school performance this weekend.  I can't believe it.  Now, I realize I should have held him longer in the mornings when he was crying in the crib.  I should have slowed that time down instead of sticking a pacifier in his mouth to quiet him down.  I can't get those moments back and now I want them.  Don't get me wrong, I sat with him the other day and laughed so hard that I thought I was gonna pee my pants.  He is one funny guy.  Before I know it though, I will be dropping him off at some dorm that he is moving into with the hope that he keeps his mouth shut, knows when enough is enough and is able to sit still when he needs to...and he'll be 18.

Mac is front row bari sax and his brother is next to him with the baritone

So listen, buddy...your father and I love you dearly.  We are so proud of you and how you are who you are.  The ball is in your court...or coming at you from the mound...or you are standing at the top of the terrain park waiting to the land the big jump...and it's all up to you.  I will be there cheering you and your band buddies on...hoping for the best and knowing what awesome kids you all are.   But...I will be looking for you and your brother, hoping that you march out on that field and love every minute of it...and I mean it...every minute...because next year at this time, you'll be in another space and time, with 2011 state just a memory.  I know it's going to be an awesome one.

May you love every minute of your time on the field and may all of your hard work, heart and energy shine through!

We'll tawk tommorrow,
I love you all,


Ms. Moon said...

All of this true. And what a gorgeous boy! I love you all.

Elizabeth said...

This brought tears to my eyes -- good ones, though.