I have had the pleasure of a party, seeing my siblings, drinking a bunch of pink wine and relaxing in the pool for hours at a time. I am in Florida with my sisters relaxing.
It is a little different than most trips as we are missing one of our favorite parts...my sister's husband. If you remember, he passed away last valentine's day and we haven't been the same since. This trip is about finding the new normal, enjoying what we have and remembering the good times.
But, it is hard...
We miss him and we miss the way things were. It's just not the same. And even as I deal with this kind of thing damn near every day...it is hard and it tests what you are made of and what you believe...At least what I am made of and what I believe...
I love coming here and remembering my life when I was younger. I think of times when I was as young as my kids and the shenanigans that I pulled, and I love the floating for hours in the pool and the sun burning my old, leathery skin...yes, I sure love all of that.
But, I grieve... and I have flashes of the past and remember...
Decompression is not so easy...It takes work to feel what it takes to get through the pain and sadness. I'm not so good at that. I tend to work really hard and sleep...so as not to think. Here, in Florida, I have no choice...there is quiet, there is time and there is relaxation...all the things to decompress.
So wish me luck...I need time and quiet to do this and I think I will get it.
But, if you want to meet for a drink...you know me, I would love it and it is near the beach close to sunset...even better.
We'll tawk tomorrow,
I love you all,