Sunday, June 26, 2011

Going on the wagon...

I got home from Nicaragua on Friday night and have been to 4 baseball games in the last two days.  Life is busy...isn't it?  I did stop and think about my trip when I went to the port-a-potty at the field...and how nice it was from the toilets and outhouses I had been using in Central America.  But..I digress...

So, I have decided to go "on the wagon."  My youngest son asked what that meant...so I had to explain..."I stop drinking alcohol until we go on vacation, which is about a month from now".  I have two goals in mind with this declaration.  I have been drinking a drink or two during the week almost every night and...I am blowing up.  I am fatter than I have been for a long time and when I have a drink with dinner...all my self discipline goes out the window.  

Tonight...preparing to go on the wagon, I am finishing my second glass of pink wine.  It is no secret how I like that stuff...but until the 23rd of July...no mas...I am done. 

I am headed back to work tommorrow.  My love, my sweet patient...died while I was gone.  I kinda knew that would happen and I am trying to have good boundries.  In the past, I wouldn't go on planned vacations when people I took care of where close to death.  I knew he was close, so I handed his care off to a lovely nurse that took great care of him.  But...I wish I was with him and his sweet girl to help him into the next level...what I believe is heaven.  But, my guess is, he didn't need me at all.  He did it on his own and I love him all the more.  I am sure that I will have the honor of more patients like him and hopefully, I can be of service.

The Queen called me from the camp this morning.  She was out on trail last week and loved every minute of it.  Sleeping under the stars, taking big hikes and cooking over camp stoves.  She is something, I tell you.  I haven't laid my eyes on her since the 30th of May...longest time since she was born.  I can't believe that I am able to breathe.  I miss her but also am better for the separation.  She is fine and doing her thing...isn't that the way it should be?  But, I am going to that camp on Saturday to see her or else...

My boys both play ball on the same high school summer team.  Today, in the second game, my oldest boy was catching and the pitcher was having trouble finishing the inning.  All of a sudden, out comes my youngest to try to finish the inning in his high school pitching debut.   Nervous, of course.  Where was that big bottle of pink wine when I needed it?  They actually did good as a team and I thought about the hours in the driveway with one pitching to the other one and the fights that ensued.  I was hoping one of them didn't start a smack down right there on the ball field. 

It's Sunday night in Conifer.  My youngest has his buddy over and my oldest is going to see his girl for a hour or two.  I am sitting here with my "old man" doing the Sudoku.  We are not talking...just sitting next to each other at the kitchen counter doing our thing.  I have the computer on Pandora and I am listening to "Cold play" radio and all is well.  When I look to my right, I see the kitchen table with the flowers that were left for us by my son's girl as a welcome home gift.  The "Happy Birthday" decorations are still up from the birthdays that happened in May and June too.  I guess I am behind in the house cleaning, house wife aspect of my life.  I always am.  Then  I look up to my right on the wall over the windows and I see the wooden plaques that I have hung up..."Count your blessings" and "Gather together with thankful hearts" and understand what the priority is.  It is relationship, service, kindness and love...and not necessarily in that order.  If I rate the last few weeks with those priorities...I'm not behind at all.

So here is to getting healthy...being "on the wagon", taking off a few pounds and keeping it real....

Wish me luck!
We'll tawk tommorrow,
I love you all...yes, I do!


Elizabeth said...

Good luck with all of it! I love hearing about your sons -- they remind me of older versions of my own --

Cynthia said...

You are a very good writer. I gauge good blog writing on whether or not I can "hear" the person when I am reading. I can definately hear your voice in your writing.

I am sitting here walking some dear friends through the loss of their father earlier today and remembering the hospice nurse that was with us as we walked the path with Karl's mom to invite her to the next step. Then I read your paragraph in this post about the patient that you were not right there with when he moved from one sphere to the next and I realized how much a part you played in enabling him to make that step, even if you were not right there, at the moment. Your influence was there and what a marvelous gift you have to be able to do what you do.

Thanks for letting me peer into your world, it is highly gratifying.

Ms. Moon said...

Good luck and darling- I admire your goals!

Cynthia said...

Cynthia again...someone just messages me regarding my blog and reminded me that it is not really polite to reference someone in a blog and not let that person know. So...I am letting you know that I used your name in vain in a blog post last night. You can find it on my Facebook wall.