The boxes are packed, the belongings that are staying are put in the closet and the clothes to take with him to college are in the dryer. The last meal of baked ziti with meatballs is ready to go in the crock pot tomorrow morning and it is all that is left. My boy is moving out in less than 48 hours...and I am pretty sure he's ready.
I spent quite a bit of time lying on his bed asking him things..."don't you need a suit?" or "what shoes are you taking?" or "what do you think your life will look like in a few weeks?" He humored me and answered my questions like he cared. Then I asked the obvious question, "Are you just so excited?" He looked at me and then answered, "I am so excited...a little nervous too...but mostly excited." I told him I was so excited too, even though I was going to miss seeing him all the time. "I'm an hour away Mom, you will probably see me before the week is out." He is right. I already have a trip planned for next Sunday to take him and his sister to Target and get all the things they forgot to get before they left.
I feel exhausted. I don't think it's from laying on the bed talking but how my heart is working to pump harder not to split in half. That's okay, it just is.
I made a cake for dessert tomorrow, and plan to do half of it with a welcome home Christie theme, and half with a good luck at college theme for Mac. In the middle, I am putting a picture of Ralphie, the buffalo from CU. I will feed them and listen to them and try to remember that I will do fine without them. I have survived the last two years with my Queen living elsewhere and I will do okay without Mac at home.
I am going to bed. A little early but I am going to need the rest. My heart isn't as strong as it has been lately. It's working harder to manage all the little holes created in it when parts of it go with those you love.
We'll tawk tomorrow,
I love you all,