The house is calm and the dog and I are sitting on the couches waiting...for what...I am uncertain. Sometimes I think we are waiting for an end but that means an end to a life that should not be at it's end. But then, when all the options are few and the choices are made, is it easier to for it to end quickly or for work to be done, time to be spent and hand holding to continue. As if we, any of us here, have a choice.
It's cold here today and the wind is blowing. But the sky is blue and the palm trees sway in the wind making it seem right. We take turns holding hands and visiting, we make meals and eat while others sit by the bedside watching for signs of discomfort, suffering or even decline. The signs come and then go...
We wonder to ourselves...how long can this go on? Are we doing what is good and right and holy? Yes, I answer to myself...this is what we want and will do until it is over.
Days are long and hard watching someone struggle to transition out of our world. It is such hard work to get away. We talk, we "say our piece" and we wait.
I think about my family...the one that I was born into as we are forced together through no choice of our own. This is not a vacation although for fleeting moments when old times are talked about...it feels like one. We come together for times like these without hesitation, it seems, and bury old grudges. We become one family and get through things. Just like we have before.
It's actually peaceful here...almost like a deep calm before a big storm. Our family is taking advantage of the peace to rest, think and hope for the best...a peaceful passing.
We'll tawk tommorrow,
I love you all,