My boy is growing up. He is headed to CU in the fall and will be marching in the Golden Buffalo Marching band with his sister. As I have written in the past, I was sure that this guy would be the death of me. He was busy from the start, a worry every year with teachers and has a sense of humor that even when I wanted to kill him, he could make me laugh. And now, I am looking at him graduating from high school and leaving the nest.
I am starting to feel sadness that he is leaving the nest...can you believe that? I remember when he was little, sitting on the floor of the kitchen playing with the pots and pans, banging them together, dragging more and more out while I was getting ready to go to work for a evening shift. I always wanted to make it easier for Jim to handle the kids when I was working so I was getting frustrated with Mac. I told him, this toddler, to put the pots away and stop banging them over and over. I got in his face, squared his shoulders and told him to stop doing that...he looked me in the eye and said, "NO". I smacked him pretty hard before I realized what I had done. I was so ashamed...grabbed him up and told him I was sorry. I realized then the amount of emotion that he caused in me. I loved him so much but he was also so difficult that I decided I would never lay a hand on him again in anger. And to be honest, I haven't. My point of that story is, I was and still am so attached to him. It is going to be hard to see him go.
I have sat at every baseball game, every band competition and concert, every cross country meet and if we were lucky enought to get a school award...that too. I have dreaded every teacher conference and been pleasantly surprised at a few. I have turned the parenting over to Jim at times because I am so enamored with him and Jim can stand his ground, and I have watched him stand in front of a group of middle schoolers and talk about how he felt when he was bullied.
I am going to miss him alot. That's not to say that he isn't going to test my every fiber this summer. You see, he realizes that he is going to be 18 soon and moving out. He is ready to go and lets me know on a regular basis. But, this kid has a heart that I know will get him places. He is a kind hearted kid and knows what its like to be the "back up" catcher, slower runner on cross country team and how to make a group of people laugh. I know once he settles in at college ( and I hope it doesn't take too long) he will do well.
I've been addressing invites for his graduation picnic and thinking of all the people that helped him become who he is and counting my blessings. It took alot more folks than Jim and I and his sister and brother...
So on the 27th of May, if you want to stop by and wish Mac well, join us for the picnic. I'd like to thank you for all your help in person...
We'll tawk tommorrow,
I love you all,