Being in Hawaii has got me thinking. I look around and think and...since I am on vacation, a real one...there is time to think. Yesterday, we went to the beach and it had some waves.
At first, I sat on the beach and watched as the boys ran head first into the surf. Jim even joined them. I felt inadequate and afraid because they looked so fierce. They would build, the top would turn white and curl and then they would crash on the shore so violently that the sand would kick up and run back into the water. After watching for awhile, I decided to give the surf a go. I stood at the shoreline waiting for the right time to jump in. Finally, I saw an opening and ran into the water. The waves were building again and by the time I got into a good position, I was taken by the wave, thrown into the wave and turned upside down. I ended up on the shore being pulled back into the waves with my bathing suit up around my neck, my nose full of salt water and feeling terrified that I would drown. I stood up and called to my husband to get me out but he was too far so as the water retreated into the ocean, I was knocked off my feet again and into the surf. By the time I got out, I was battered and done. I crawled up on the beach and sat for a long time.
After about 20 minutes of recovery, I decided to try it again. I went through the same steps as I did the first time. Then my son told me the big secret...when the wave gets big, dive under it so you can let it pass by. Well, let me tell you...it saved me for awhile. Then I got cocky because the ocean had calmed down and I was floating on the top.
All of a sudden out of what seemed like nowhere three waves came in quick succession. I managed to dive under the first one but as the second one came, I was wiping my eyes and blowing the sea water out of my nose, I was slapped in the face and taken to shore. As I tried to recover, the next one threw me into the water again and pulled my suit up and filled my bathing suit bottoms with sand.
I ran to shore and threw myself on the sand. I sat for a long time and watched the surf and the boys and started thinking. Thinking about life and how the waves are a metaphor for life.
I throw myself into life and have to adjust...I have to learn how to live, what to do and how to do it. I usually have something that knocks me off my feet and throws me to shore before I really get it...really understand the issues and things that are going on.
Then I learn the what the plan is...like diving under the wave to survive. Things seem to go well and I am enjoying the peace until something happens. In my case, there have been many things that have happened that reminded me of the three waves in a row and my reaction to them. After the waves of life hit me, I tend to stay home, keep to myself and try to get through it...kind of like sitting on the beach thinking.
Well, this story has a happy ending. After sitting on the beach for what seemed like forever, I decided to jump back in and try the waves again...and try to enjoy the ones that I beat, get ready for the big ones and take the ones that throw me to shore with grace and acceptance...and of course, run back in the water when I was ready.
The day was awesome, the boys had a great time and I learned about the waves. I can't get any better than that...
We'll tawk tommorrow,
I love you all,