What if you knew you were going to your last birthday party? Could you sit in the middle of the party and hold court? Tell everyone, one at a time, what they meant to you during your life? Could you...do that?
I went to such a party today. It was an amazing afternoon of love and peace and sadness and meaning. It was the statement that we all make at some point...I know I have..."when I know I am going, I want to have a big party". I have heard the statement before but have never been to such a party...until today.
Sickness is awkward and death is even more awkward. Today, it seemed to be accepted, although not welcome but accepted and coming anytime now. The crowd at the party was well aware of it and I sat watched each person talking and making sure they said it all, touching him and kissing him while he sat and held court.
I know that I talk about death alot...too much really. But I also get such insight to the human holiness...to boundless love and caring, deep sadness and eventually healing and hope. Toward the end of the party, his son brought out the cake and the crowd sang Happy Birthday and he blew out the candle. I was standing in the door way looking at the crowd and thinking...I hope I have the courage to live until the end with the grace, courage and love of this friend...his party was a gift to the people there. They got to tell him how much they love him before he is gone...so he knows when he is on his journey to heaven.
Happy 56th birthday, friend and traveling mercies. Thanks for your courage and love, your party and your life. We will all miss you but when the pain is the focus...let it go and be free...
We'll tawk tommorrow,
I love you all,