My husband will be 50 next week. Man is he getting old. We were sitting out on the patio talking tonight and I asked him..."What do you think about turning 50...do you even think about it?" I was surprised at his answer..."All the time, I mean, I'm looking at the other side of my life."
That caught me by surprise. My husband is the most confident man I know. He is sure of himself. He decides something and he goes with it...doesn't change his mind and generally is happy with his choice. I, on the other hand, make a decision and then question myself until I have to make another one...and decide I have no choice but to go with the one I made. And, if you want to know the truth, his confidence bothers me alot. I get jealous of it. So to hear that he is thinking about getting old is interesting...
I look at him and think he looks better than he ever has. That gray in his hair, the little he has left, looks good and his beard...makes him distinguished. He hasn't gained a pound over the 23 years we have been together...meanwhile I have gained and lost about 300 pounds and am on the upswing now. He can fix anything...a car, a furnace, a dishwasher...without even thinking about it. He just has to want to. He is also an amazing father. He knows our kids and wants the best for them and if that means letting them fail...he'll do it. I, on the other hand, don't have the stomach for it and crucify him if he is sticking to his guns. The other night, my youngest, who is almost 15 asked to do something. I said no but started to waffle. My husband said no to back me up. I started to get mad at him for saying no when I was getting ready to say yes. "Here's where Mom grows a spine" he said, "So the answer is no." The boys just laughed.
After our conversation out on the patio, I was thinking about romance. God knows, when your old like us, those feelings are few and far between. But, he was looking good. I made dinner and we talked all through dinner too. Wow, long conversation...it has to have been last summer at this time when we talked like that before. I was thinking he and I were on the same page...so I said, "what do you wanna do after dinner?" thinking a walk holding hands in the neighborhood or something along that line. "Well" he said..."Do you wanna cut my hair?" Let's just say that we were definitely not on the same page...not at all. "If you get the clippers" I said..."I guess so" and the romantic moment was gone. Funny thing is, he didn't even notice the romantic possiblilites!
We...the boys and Jim and I, are going to Hawaii on Friday. We are going to visit family and to be by the water. Maybe, if the time is right, the boys are busy, I can get a walk on the beach...a romantic one where I get my hand held and we pretend we are not a couple of old hags...
You see, I did a great job on his hair and it won't need cut for a few more weeks and we are going to the place we went on our honeymoon. Do you think I will have to ask for romance or will he get the idea? At 50...probably just better to ask.
We'll tawk tommorrow,
I love you all,