Friday, December 16, 2011

Dude...where's my car?

The Queen is home.  She arrived home on Wednesday but not before losing the car.  She called me as she was walking to the car that was parked in "free" parking somewhere in her college town.  She had not driven it since Sunday.  Wait, let me tell you the back story.  She does not have a car.  She has a bike, a new one that we bought when she left for college.  She hasn't mentioned anything about a car until a month or two ago.  "Mom, with Mac and I here next year, I think it would be good if we had a car."  Okay, I thought, she is not asking two much really, she will have been at college for two years with out what Doris Joy would call "wheels"...

Back to the original story...she is walking down the road, with all of her belongings for a month at home and talking to me on the phone.  We are making small talk about how it will be good to have her home, yada, yada, yada and she gets to where she is sure she parked the car and says..."Mom, the car isn't here.  I thought I parked it here, I mean, I'm sure".  At this point, I am trying to stay calm.  Jim is still in India and this kind of crisis would usually fall into the "Why don't you call Dad and see what he says" category.  But, not possible at this point.  She begins to wander up and down the street that she thinks she parked the car on while I am on the phone calmly telling her not to worry.  In my head, I am the opposite of that...What is wrong with this kid, she can understand physics and calculus but can't keep track of a 2000 pound object?  If this thing is gone...what the heck do we even do?  That freakin' Jim, going to India the week before Christmas, it's all  his fault..."Mom are you there?" I hear from the Queen.  "Oh yeah, I'm here...just figuring out the next step!" I say.   She finally says, "It;s not here...it's gone."  Beautiful, just beautiful..."Okay, you keep looking and I will think of a solution" I say. 

I walk into a house that I am consulting for and sit down and begin to unload on the owner..."My daughter lost the car or it was stolen and my husband is in India and what do I even do...call the cops or what.?"  This guy is probably one of the nicest guys on earth...doesn't pay on time...but that is beside the point.  He tells me we call the police and ask if they know anything about it...
Call the police, great, how the frick do I call the po-po from Colorado springs while this freakin brilliant kid is wandering the streets looking for the car?  I am just trying to hold on...

My cell phone rings and its the Queen..."Did you find it?"  "No, but I am going to call my friend and ask her if she knows where I parked it."  Okay...what is wrong with this picture...calling a friend to help you find the car.  What where they doing when they parked/lost the car?  Oh wait...I don't even want to know!  "You haven't driven it since Sunday and it is Wednesday and you haven't gone to look at it?"  "Mom, I had finals and I have been studying and I parked it after church and now it isn't where I parked it."  Yeah, after church...right.  But then I thought of the day and thought, okay...she is on the up and up.  "I'm going to try to work a little so call me when while you figure out if the car was towed or stolen or if, by the by the grace of God it appears somewhere."
She called her friend and her friend suggested another place.  She started walking towards the new place and called me..."I think I parked it on a different street...It is coming clear to me now...this place had a bridge to cross to get to my dorm too...OK...I am really starting to remember" she is talking as she is walking.  I told her to be quiet and walk...and just let me know when she sees it.  All of a sudden, she spots a little blue subaru and tells me, "I think this is it but I have to look at the license plate"  LOOK AT THE LICENSE PLATE TO KNOW IF THE CAR IS OURS...WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS CHILD?  COLLEGE HAS FRIED HER BRAIN, I think loudly to myself..."Is it ours?" I ask.  "Yeah, I found it...and I am so sorry, Mom, it has a ticket on it." At this point, I am ecstatic that we are not dealing with cops and tow truck companies, so I am like, " No worries, you found the car and what is it for?"
"Can you believe they gave me a ticket for parking too close to a fire hydrant?  The fire trucks can fit fine if they need water." She says.  I had heard enough for today.  "Pack up and come home...drive safe and I love you" I say.  "Ok Mom...I will" and we both begin to laugh uncontrollably..."Can you believe I lost the car?" she asks. I don't even answer... "See you at home!"  "Love you Mom" and she was on her way.

Let's just say...she ain't gettin' no car!

We'll tawk tommorrow,
I love you all,

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