Friday, December 17, 2010

Finding the meaning...

  It is Saturday morning and I am supposed to be at the LGN (Look Good Naked) bootcamp...yeah, right.  I have made the adult decision to sit at my kitchen table, drink coffee, talk to my husband and write about my week.  Was I, as the Queen says, "intentionally authentic"?  Hmmm...let me start from the beginning of this weeklong conversation.

Monday was a good day, I went to the gym, worked, believe it or not, and came home and turned into the mother of two teenage boys.   It was finals week for the high schooler so I spent alot of time talking to him in a shrill voice about "trying to focus" and "you know the car will not be driven" and "blah, blah,bah".  The younger boy had a cold with a mean cough.  And, he begins every sentence with that cough to prove how ill he really is.  I pulled out the cough syrup and began to nurse him through the crud.  My husband boarded a plane for points unknown for part of the week.  The Queen was at college studying for calc 2... all the chicks and the rooster accounted for.  Finally, Monday was over and it was bedtime.  Thank God!

Tuesday came along and I had the plan of attack...Older son will pick up younger son from school because Mom has to work...in Colorado Springs...almost 2 hours away.  It all was going to come together when the younger son woke up and I felt too guilty to send him to school.  Really, he could have gone but his cough was in the category of "what kind of mother sends their kid to school with a cough like that?"  So..he stayed home while I felt terribly guilty working.  He in turn watched TV all day and was gracious when I called hourly to ask how he was.  "I'm" cough, cough, cough "fine, Mom" cough, cough.  Finished my work and got the call from the Queen.  "I'm finished" and "if you want to pick me up, I could be ready".  Let me think, I am in Colorado Springs, have a sick 14 year old at home, the house is a mess, the Queens room is not ready..."OK", I say, "let me call home and see how everyone is and I will be up in a few hours."  It is the Queen, and I am her royal mother.  So off I go to pick her up from her dorm...we load a year's worth of laundry, a computer, a box of stuff, and off we go. 

She begins to talk about her honors class...her teacher and what it means to live "intentionally authentic".  Wow, what a concept.  I tell her that is is "being who you are"....taking each moment and figuring out the meaning of moments as they happen and trying to appreciate the details.  As she is talking, I am driving and thinking.  Am I "who I am?"   Do I look at things through the eyes of a person who is "intentional" or do I just "get through things?"  For many years, I was a "get through things" person...but I feel like that is changing.

Wednesday came along and it was nuts...feeling the pressure and not really noticing anything..."gotta get things done" and then I can go to bed.  But, it was also a day that I got to do what I love.  I did the usual routine...exercise, mothering mixed with a trip to my favorite chiropractor for a crack of the neck, and then I cooked two hams...For a "community dinner" at our church.  We hosted a group of folks having trouble this season money wise.  But, we had Christmas trees for them too.  My neighbors brought 43 trees cut from their land to our  church grove to give out to folks who want one.  That was the meaningful part for me.  It was snowing, cold, and dark...a truck with lights focused on the grove with the trees and christmas music playing from the cab...people quietly picking out trees.  I felt a moment of gratitude for my life, my kids, my christmas tree...everything.   All in all, it was a crazy but meaningful day.

I had a wonderful Thursday.  The Queen and I had an afternoon with one of the sweetest people I have come to know.  It was a day of talking, learning, connecting and hearing lovely music.  It is a story for another day but it had so much meaning.  To see my Queen and my dear friends princess together was more than I could handle...crazy lucky...and authetic...and beyond meaningful.  Later I went to the band concert and watched my younger son play his trombone while stifling coughs...he still sounded bad but not in the "bad mother" category.

I could go on and on about seeing things intentionally...being authentic...but I have gone on enough.  I feel like I am so lucky.  My husband made it home from points unknown, got a few days of work in, spent time with the Queen, the older son made it through finals and is still using the car and a little Nyquil before bed makes the cough quiet.  Yep, these are sweet days and I am going to try to "be who I am"...and enjoy the good, not dwell on the bad and be "intentially authentic".

Happy Saturday...be careful out there.
We'll tawk soon,


1 comment:

Ms. Moon said...

Thank-you for being your authentic self to my daughter and her man. It makes my heart happy in some way I could never have imagined for you and her to get together.
As she said, "I can see why you adore her."
There you go, dear Terry. There you go. And here we are.
Who could know? Who would have thought?