Friday, December 24, 2010

Is it really Christmas eve? Musings from a house in chaos....

Christmas Eve 2010 in lovely Conifer, Colorado.  Interesting how I feel today...I am not sad or depressed but I am not overly excited about the day either.  

I remember in the days of small children, Christmas would sweep me away with shopping and baking and wearing fancy clothes and taking the Christmas picture and writing the perfect letter to mail with the picture.  The letter had to be funny and informative but not bragging at all.  It had to be humbling and thankful and fit on one page.  Yes, and I did that for the last 10 years or so.  Well, this year, I wrote the letter and it is sitting in my documents and to be honest, we didn't take a picture yet.  Haven't done it and can't seem to get everyone together at the same time who are all showered and wearing the right clothes to take a family picture.  Used to be I would dress them and comb their hair and prop them somewhere.  We would pose, and then my husband would run in the picture and see how it came out.  We would do that again and again until the boys were hitting each other and I was yelling at them to "stop it" and finally we would get one that was OK.  Never a great one...but enough was enough.  Then there was the year we decided to have the dog in the picture and my favorite picture was all of us standing there with the dog's nose wedged in my husband's crotch.  Needless to say, he did not let me use that one as our picture!  Maybe this year I will do a Happy New Year card.

It's gray and white at our house with a creeping fog over the mountains.  The air looks like it is moving but I think it is just the smallest of moisture trying to turn into snowflakes.  Can't see Pikes Peak from the kitchen like you can on clear days.  I sit down at my kitchen table and look out the window and usually see for hundreds of miles with the tip of Pikes Peak in the distance.  When the sun is heading down and the shadows are creeping in...it is more beautiful than I can describe with words.  Not today though.  But, there is a peace I am noticing today.  The teenagers are still in bed and my husband is in the kitchen doing the crossword puzzle from the newspaper.  Just quiet right now and it feels right.

Today is Christmas Eve...we will get dressed and stand in front of the Christmas tree before church tonight.  We will set the timer and snap a few pictures...none of them will be great but that is what we do.  We'll go to church and wish everyone a merry christmas and the church will be lit with tons of candles and it will have that comforting glow.  We will listen to the sermon about new beginnings, how God chose ordinary people to change the world and how if we feel like we are not worthy...we are.  We will then have communion and see all the people we dressed up with the families from far away.  That always touches me alot.  I love families and the love they feel when they are together.  Then the service will be over and we will light our little white candles down the aisles of the church.  The organist will begin "Silent night" and the lights will dim. 

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
Christ, the Saviour is born
Christ, the Saviour is born

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth "

We will finish the song, put out our candles and go home.  And it is Christmas!

Please accept my good wishes for love, peace, absence of fear, new relationships and being worthy because you are!  I love you all....

We'll tawk later,

1 comment:

Ms. Moon said...

Beautiful, Terry. Merry Christmas to you and to all of your beautiful, lovely family.
Take this night to really see what you and Jim have created with love and work and heart and hands.
I love you so...Mary