I have been reading alot about folks losing folks. I read about my dear Ms. Moon losing her friend Colin this morning. Then my sister called and told me that today is the second anniversary of the death of her dear friend, Anna from pancreatic cancer. As if that wasn't enough death and destruction, I realized that tommorrow is the 15th anniversary of the death of my mother, Doris Joy.
I don't know about you but I'm really in no hurry to die. If I do, I just want to drop dead in the middle of a great italian dinner or at a club when I've had a few drinks. I want to be gone...none of this coming back and then having to be half dead for awhile. No offense to the folks that want to live forever in any condition...that's just not me.
Since I was a hospice nurse, I went to alot of funerals. I went to some really great ones and some that were just not the tribute to the person that I had hoped for. I went to one in a giant church in Denver with screens up on the walls with the lyrics to the songs projected on them. When the pastor was giving the eulogy, the screen had the giant face of the deceased on it. I wasn't sure what I thought about that since I rarely like any photos taken of me and it would be difficult to find one that looks good that big.
Anyway, I have spent enough time on death in this post. I want to talk about life and living it like it was getting close to the end. Living like there may be a time limit..not like you're waiting to die but doing things that are put in front of you and not being afraid. There are alot of things I have done that if I let my fear take over, I would have never done them. I would have never done a 14er, been a camp nurse, or went to Europe. I would have never bungee jumped from a crane, gone white water rafting, or swam with manatees. Fear did not win out at those times.
I know it sounds crazy and it probably is but I still think of that experience as being in the presence of God. The peace and kindness in the eyes of that beast is beyond anything I have ever experienced.
Then I think, what if I didn't go in that day because I was afraid? I would have never felt that peace in my heart at that time in that situation. I would have missed one of the deepest feelings I have had in my life.
What's the moral of the story on death, life and manatees? Maybe it is this...
none of us get out of here alive, although some alot sooner than others, we all have one life...that's it..one. We can have do-over's...a different decision every day if the one you made yesterday ain't working for you and manatees...if you want to see the face of God in a sea cow, feel peace in your heart unexpectedly...go for a swim in the Crystal River and look one in the eye. It's an amazing experience.
We'll tawk later,
I love you all,