I went back to the gym. I have put on quite a few in all the wrong places, if you know what I mean. Don't get me wrong, the pounds did not materialize out of thin air. I had pasta, wine, beer, burgers, ice cream and fast food. If that menu doesn't put a few pounds on you...nothing will...and I am a middle aged woman!
So, the Monday before last, I decided I was going to try to reign in my intake with slim fast shakes. I bought a box with 6 cans of "Dutch Chocolate" and put them in the fridge. I made it through the week fairly unscathed. I was hungry and wanted to chew, but I didn't...until Friday. Friday night and over the weekend was the Women's retreat with a bunch of my buddies from church. I immediately went to Costo and bought a case of wine...hoping that would last me through the weekend. I also bought a plate of shrimp thinking I would watch what I ate but not what I drank (I guess). To be honest, I was going to eat whatever I wanted last weekend and drink even more. It was a party and in my experience, what makes the holy spirit really show up...wine and lots of it.
The retreat was great...we talked about taking care of ourselves and being who we are and being okay with that. As you can probably tell, I am really okay with myself after my second glass of wine. So...it was great. I ate way too much and I drank way too much.
I got on the scale last Monday morning and I was up 4 pounds. 4 pounds...I only ate for 2 days...that's 2 pounds a day I gained while I was gone. I wasn't mad or even feeling too bad about it though. I ate alot of great stuff...and I mean alot. We had roast beef and mashed potatoes, eggs with all kinds of sausage and bacon for breakfast, spagetti and meatballs for lunch (my favorite) and I can't even remember what was for dinner. Then the snacks...salty, sugary, chocolatey snacks...with wine and whatever else you brought and you wanted. I did enjoy it but once again...it's hard to breathe in non-elastic clothes!
I got up Monday morning, worked and walked the dog. I wrote about the day because I was in such a good space. On Tuesday, I went to my workout and sweat like a hog. I was so sweaty...I thought I might have peed my pants. Thank God I did not. Anyway, I felt great after that workout. Not immediately after, but after a while. I felt great. Today, I did the same thing. I went to kickboxing and had sweat running into my eyes. I was punching the bag and kicking the bag and whooping and hollering. I had a great time. It really felt good today too. But, let's face it, 2 shakes for a girl my size is not enough...at least that's what I was telling myself as I drove home. I deserve a good breakfast after that workout...but I don't. I may deserve some kudos for getting my big rear end to the gym...but not in the form of food. As hungry as I was and as much as my head told me...eat something...I waited until lunch time and made my slim fast shake with a ton of ice and ate a huge blender full of shake. It was okay...not bad at all...but not my favorite, spagetti and meatballs either.
But...and I mean a big butt...I need to figure out a better way to celebrate, mourn, visit, reward, relax and whatever I use food and drink for. I have to or I am not going to be able to punch the bag or kick the bag or get on a snow board or play softball.
I have decided I am going to take it day by day or hour by hour or even minute by minute. I sound like Charlie Sheen when he accepted help. So far today, I have had 2 slim fast shakes and I am staying out of the kitchen. I am not even going to clean up the dishes that are all over...not gonna tempt myself. I have a new resolve (again) and I will triumph. I have many times before you know... and then my loves, food and drink, call to me again. This time, though, I am not going answer...really...I'm not!
I'll let you know how it goes,
We'll tawk tommorrow,
I love you all,