Friday, March 18, 2011

Role model I am not!

The middle school had a concert and my 8th grader played his trombone.  He looked very handsome in his ironed white shirt, black pants and  black shoes.  All of the 8th graders look so much older than in the fall.  The music was better than the fall concert too.  As I sat there on those horrible bleachers with my back aching...I thought about how time flies.  It goes.  One day goes into the next whether you enjoyed it or not.  The sun comes up, it goes down and how you spend the time in between is up to you. 

I spent the day running from one thing to another.  I promised my youngest a coffee on the way to school for his good grades.  We got coffee which made me late for my aerobics class which I had to leave early to go to the honor roll assembly.  This was my first honor roll assembly and have been scolded every quarter when I do not show up for them.  Hey...I mean to...every time.  Well today, I was gonna make it.  I left aerobics about fifteen minutes early and made it to the middle school early.  Perfect...I thought.  Sure I was in black sweats, my greasy hair pulled up in a pony tail and my shirt soaked...I was there and I didn't forget!

They announced the kids and they walked up to the stage.  The announcer kindly asked that applause be held until the whole group had been recognized.  The bronze kids went...and every one was pretty polite.  There were lots of parents there.  Parents...as in Moms and  Dads clean and put together.  It was nice to see.  Oh and did I mention that they were so polite.

Then they announced the silver honor roll and there were less kids but it was all kids I have known over the years.  I was having so much trouble keeping quiet already.  I have coached them in soccer, taught them to swim at the rec center or have had them to my house for various reasons.  I live in a small town.  By the time the announcer was done with the silvers, I was sitting on my feet and clapping loudly with each kid.  I think back now, and that was still acceptable support. 

Now for the gold...my son.  This was his first gold honor roll...his first straight A report card.  He worked hard.  He did his homework and turned his assignments in.  The best thing about it for me is...I didn't do a thing.  He is a third child so I am well aware of my role.  I attended 8th grade myself and then again, in theory, with my middle son.  Not gonna do it for a third time.  My youngest gets that...it's his deal.  I have said, no lie, atleast 50 million times, "I have already attended X grade so it is your deal".  I have said that so many times that I am sick of listening to myself.

Back to this morning...I decided I needed to stand to see the kids that were next up and I was clapping loudly.  I couldn't help it, I was so proud.  Then comes my son...you can guess what happened next...I screamed..."Yeah,  Howie" while clapping loudly.  Every parent in that room looked back at me and scowled.  No kidding.  The announcer was quiet and gave me a look but did not say anything (I played softball with her) and continued on.  My son's social studies teacher came over to me and gave me a demerit...then the announcer whispered something to my son.  I thought it was funny but you know me...I just let it all hang out.

The assembly was over and I stood there waiting for my son.  He walked up to me shaking his head with a smile on his face..."I'm sorry How" I said "but I was so proud."  "It's okay Mom...thanks for coming" he said.  I asked him what the announcer said and he told me..."Your mom was inappropriate" and they both laughed...because I am sure he thought..."Isn't she always?" and walked on.

I was not offended at all so I hope I wasn't supposed to be.  I didn't care that every parent turned around and scowled or that the silence after the yell was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.  Should I have been polite...sure.  And, I was a terrible role model...

Middle age has made me more spontaneous and able to give and show love in crazy ways.  I don't want to embarass my son but I don't want him to think for a minute that he is not loved and appreciated...not even for a second.  I know how that feels and it doesn't help anything.

So I leave you with a song from JT...makes me calm and introspective.  I hope you enjoy it.

We'll tawk tommorrow,
I love you all,


Elizabeth said...

Well, of course you shouted. And you know what? No kid or parent will remember that day, but yours will -- forever.

Ms. Moon said...

I wish I'd had a mom like you.