Friday, March 4, 2011

Learning to Fly...

I used to listen to Tom Petty in college...along with Bruce Springsteen and a band that was called Four in Legion.  Four in Legion played a song I loved called "There's a party in my pants...and you're invited".  I am not kidding you at all.  Anyway, I think of those times so fondly...I was in nursing school, I was 19 and feeling saucy.  Great times...

Flash forward to 46...three kids that are almost grown...19 and out, 16 and wishing he was out and the 14 year old just looks at Jim and I like we are aliens.  It is a different life than I imagined when I was 19.  It's better and more and deeper and more meaningful.  I never thought that I would do half of the things I have done, loved half as much as I have and learned so much about what life is like. 

I was going to be a nurse...a mother and a wife.  I was going to have a house and people were going to admire me for how wonderful I was.  I was not planning on more than that.  I was going to have the perfect life and that was that.

The perfect life was not going to include death, family issues, money problems, depression and chronic disease.  Nope...none of that.  Well it has and we have weathered the storms and I think we will just have to weather the rest of what is thrown our way.

But...at 46, I feel so hopeful.  I feel like I am getting a second chance to do a whole lot of things that I still want to do.  I want to have a garden and eat the veggies and lettuce that I grew, I want a goat and maybe some chickens...I want to travel to other countries, hold grandchildren, sit on the beach with my old husband and drink beer after beer and relive the kids lives...to enjoy what is to come and not be afraid.  I am getting better at that.  It makes me feel so much more alive. 

So for all of us middle aged folks that are learning about life with kids leaving and coming back, chronic issues that never seem to go away and for leaving more time behind us than we have in front of us...I dedicate this song to us!


We'll tawk tommorrow,
I love you all,

1 comment:

Elizabeth said...

Oh, I love it -- your words and the song. I used to listen to a song called "Push, push, in the bush" on a radio station in Atlanta that catered to the cool black crowd (I'm white). I think there was another line that said, "do you like it? do you like it like that?" I wonder when I'll tell my sons about that -- right now they think "I've seen better days."