I got this book from the Queen for christmas this year.
Here is what she wrote in the front cover.
That is what I am trying to do on a minute by minute basis...to truly see life...when I am caught up in the what if's, I should have's, and I wish I would have's...the day passes and I haven't experienced the day...I got through it.
Then the days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into months and so on...I hear myself saying, "where did the time go?" when I know exactly where it went...and what happened.
I want to see the pale colors of winter, the brightness of the sun even if it hurts my eyes...smell the snow, the cold, the moistness in the dirt...I want to taste the food I choose to eat and see the smiles of random people, sparkling eyes of the content ones and weary and pinkish eyes of those who are suffering...I want to truly feel the kiss of my husband's rough mustache on my face instead of turning away. I want to look my son in the eye and let him know how much he means to me so he doesn't ever doubt he is good enough. I want to push my body harder and feel the pain...not stop because it is too hard.
I want to feel the feelings and experience it all...
It doesn't have to be perfect...needing perfection has stopped me so many times before...
Truly experience life...huh...It could get pretty ugly...or it will be what it always has been...sometimes great, sometimes ugly and other times unbearable...or joyful. But I didn't feel alot of that because I just wanted to "get through it".
Well, I am going to try.
We'll tawk tommorrow,
I love you all,